Shirtless Chef – What’s chaffling you?

Local fitness enthusiast Jason Murphy remakes favorite meals of his youth into healthy dishes. See the full list of his recipes at www.mysaline.com/shirtless.

What’s chaffling you?

By now, if you are a regular reader of this article, you know that just about any food can be broken down, remade, and come out the other side not only better for you, but better tasting as well. It’s not always easy. It might require driving to more stores to find the right ingredients, longer time in the kitchen making items from scratch, or getting some special kitchen gadget.

Why do this, some may ask. We are all going to die anyway, right? That’s what I get asked all the time, and if those words have come out of your mouth, do me a favor and walk to your bathroom mirror, and then slap the you-know-what out of the moron you see there. See, it’s not about living forever, which sounds absolutely boring and dreadful. If you don’t believe me, just ask a vampire. After about 500 years, they just get downright weird from boredom.

It’s not even about living longer, when not one second past when you are reading this is guaranteed for anyone. It’s about aging. That doesn’t mean getting older. That is also just an unavoidable fact of being alive. Aging, on the other hand, is completely preventable, and it comes down to two things. How often you move or exercise is one component, but the other and bigger factor is what you eat. Dying isn’t scary, in fact, it’s damn easy and everyone can and will do it.

Aging, on the other hand, is truly terrifying and is a slow, painful process. I see people my age of 48 that look at two flights of stairs like it’s Mt. Everest, and already avoid any physical exertion at all costs. Now think of how they will feel at 60. Being strong and able to move is a major factor in quality of life. You don’t have to get weak and slow as you get older. It just takes a little effort in the kitchen and the gym and you can stay fit and strong your entire life. That’s going to be necessary for me anyway. With my bills, I’m only going to be able to take off a half day from work for my own funeral.

One food that definitely made me age back in my unhealthy days is waffles. Belgium Pecan Waffles from a certain 24 hour restaurant, to be exact. They were as big as a hubcap off of a ’65 Cadillac, and when covered with half a bottle of fake maple syrup and butter, I’d need one of those fancy college trig calculators to count up all the sugar and calories I was getting. It’s actually 549 calories and 39 grams of simple carbs for just one of those bad boys, not counting the syrup. Then an hour later my blood sugar would crash and I’d be hungry again.

I owe my liver and pancreas a sincere apology for all I used to put them through. They were probably whispering to each other “He needs how much insulin???” every day I sent some horrible food down my gullet. The good news is just like everything else, waffles are easily hacked and remade into a healthy, protein packed treat. You just need the right ingredients, and a mini waffle maker. They are inexpensive and easy to find. Unlike some of my other recipes, this one is super easy, comes together fast, and is more versatile than a switch hitter. There are a few basic ingredients, and then the flavor profile can be anything you desire. This goes from savory to sweet and everything in between with no trouble at all.

Chaffle recipes are all over the interwebs, just google it and you will have thousands to pick an option. Most leave out some crucial details to keep it healthy, though, and one ingredient that makes any bread like foodstuff not taste flat and lifeless. Those recipes never specify grass fed dairy for the cheese and butter/cream cheese if using, or pasture raised eggs. Those items are critical to make the most out of getting the healthy omega-3 fats needed to keep you young. And for taste, a scant 1/8 teaspoon of sea salt is always missing, and without it, your chaffle will just taste flat and dead. It is a true game changer for these babies, like Spongebob says:

The recipe I have here mimics a churro. You can dust it with cinnamon and some melted butter, add some low carb ice cream, or make some Shirtless Chef whipped cream to top it. Any leftovers can be frozen and heated back up in a toaster just like a regular waffle. Give these a try and it will open up a world of possibilities. They can be savory garlic buns for a burger, plain for a sandwich, or sweet for a dessert. They will also allow you to be able to climb a flight of stairs without assistance from a sherpa and a donkey, which makes life a little easier.

Cinnamon Chaffles:

Ingredients:

2 pasture raised eggs, room temp

1/2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp cinnamon

1/8 tsp sea salt

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 tbsp powdered monkfruit

112 grams (1 cup) shredded grass fed low moisture mozzarella cheese

Instructions:

Place the two eggs in a large bowl. Mix all the dry ingredients in a small bowl, and weigh out your cheese in another bowl:

Whisk the eggs, then add the dry ingredients and whisk again, then stir in the cheese. Hit your mini-waffle maker with a bit of non-stick and preheat:

When the mini maker is heated up, pour just a little under 1/4 cup of the mix in, spread it out a bit, and close the lid. I like to let it cook a little bit longer than my waffle maker indicates to crisp it up, but check yours when the light goes out to see if it is to your liking.