Shirtless Chef’s chicken bacon ranch holds the human hair, beaver butt & wood chips

Local fitness enthusiast Jason Murphy remakes favorite meals of his youth into healthy dishes. See the full list of his recipes at www.mysaline.com/shirtless.

There are a myriad of health reasons to eschew processed foods and make your own meals from scratch. Everyone familiar with my articles will be aware of that by now. What you may not have considered is the gross out factor hidden by the fancy words processors use in their ingredients list.

For example, if on dough and bread products, if they changed the word L. Cysteine to “human hair” or “duck feathers,” would you still want to eat the crust on your pizza? Or if they changed the word Cellulose to “wood chips,” would you still be excited to eat the shredded cheese on that same pizza? And if you see “natural flavorings” or “natural sources” that means they just don’t want to tell you about the beaver butt glands they squeezed to get Castoreum.

If you see Sodium Tripolyphosphate listed on frozen fish, you might have second thoughts if they called it what it really is… a registered pesticide and neurotoxin they use to make spoiled fish look fresh. Europe has limits on how much of that fun ingredient can go into fish, but here in the U.S, they can put in as much as they want. If you are like me, I’ll place my order with a hold request on all of the above

The Bacon Chicken Ranch pizza was one of my favorites back when I still ate dough with “natural sources aka human hair enzymes” and wood pulp shredded cheese. I decided not only can I live without those two gross ingredients, I can live without the crust completely, up the nutrition with fresh veggies, and not lose any of the taste. And so my Chicken Ranch Casserole was born.

You can make your own home-made ranch, just look back in my Jicama fries article for that recipe, or use Primal Kitchen Ranch as I have been lately. The ingredients are clean and the taste is great. Cheese from pasture raised milk also increases the health factor. The biggest jump, however, will come from using pasture raised chickens instead of the poor prison cell birds pizza chains use to save money. This recipe is quick and easy, loaded with vitamins, fiber, and protein, and you don’t have to tip the delivery guy. It’s a win win all around, and you don’t have to remember to hold the beaver butt gland secretions.

Chicken Ranch Bacon Casserole:

Ingredients:

4-6 chicken breasts, pasture raised

2 packages frozen cauliflower rice

Primal Kitchen Ranch dressing

6 slices Provolone cheese

1 pkg organic baby bella mushrooms

1 yellow onion

1 organic red bell pepper

Sea salt, Pepper, onion and garlic powder, oregano, basil, parsley

2 tbsp avocado oil

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

3 slices all natural bacon with no nitrites added

Directions:

Wash and dice the veggies into pizza topping size:

Clean the chicken of any excess fat:

Cut the chicken into bite size pieces. To keep the chicken from sticking in the pan, place 2 tbsp of avocado oil in a cold pan, add the chicken and stir to coat, then turn to medium heat. Season to taste with salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder:

Once the chicken is almost all cooked through and no longer pink, add the diced veggies and cook until they are soft. Drain any excess moisture and cover to keep warm. Add the olive oil to a pan over medium heat. Once the temp hits around 250 degrees, add the two packages of frozen cauliflower rice and stir to break up. Add a 1/2 teaspoon of sea salt, pepper, oregano, basil, and parsley to the cauliflower. Stir and cook until all moisture evaporates and the cauliflower is soft.