This column was printed in the Benton Courier on Sunday May 2nd, 2010. See the archive of Shelli’s columns at http://https://www.mysaline.com/shellis-courier-column-archive/.
Stay up and watch an old movie or get what might be considered a decent amount of sleep to your average insomniac? I have to watch the movie, don’t I? It’s about a lady who writes a column for the Sunday paper – no kidding, Kate Hepburn & Spencer Tracy were in it. She’s addicted to her career and he’s baffled by how busy she is.
This week, and others, I baffle myself. I’m amazed that I’m taking a minute to watch a movie. They’re pretty long compared to a TV program padded with commercials. This writer lady – I can’t find the remote or I’d tell you the name of the movie – she has a machine that’s about as close to the Internet as you can get in the forties. A teletype? Heck I don’t know, but it keeps spewing news out and the lady is pretty distracted by it.
I look down. I look up. I’m watching this movie and I haven’t shut up the darn laptop for a second. It’s 2 a.m. and I’m crazy. You know, I’ve been thinking about this for a while though. Some people say “no.” Some people say “yes” and they just don’t show up. I say “yes” and I show up. I get to do all sorts of things and meet all manner of people just by showing up. Turns out though, I’m missing quite a bit by doing so much.
You’ll understand if you’ve got a kid or two or three around the house. You’ll understand if you’ve ever missed a ballgame or a bedtime or a birthday. You’ll understand if you’ve ever been to the doctor and been told you have to take four or six different pills so your veins don’t explode.
What I’m getting at is that there are a few things that I will now say “no” to. It’s not going to be easy to type this next line, since it means I’m saying goodbye to writing my Sunday column. It doesn’t mean I’ll stop writing. You’ll still see me at MySaline.com. The truth is I wish I had time to do everything. More me, y’know?
I love the folks at The Courier. I like to think they love me. But I’ve gotta love my family more. The name of the movie, come to find out, is “Woman of the Year.” It’s an exciting title to have bestowed on you (unless you’re a dude). But whether it comes with fame or a big trophy or a tiara or not, it’s nothing compared to the angel asleep on Daddy’s side of the bed next to me. She’s there because the thunder and the news about the storm scared her. Yes, the three scaredy dogs are here too.
I have to wonder what the kids will think of my efforts one day. I really don’t want my kids’ vintage memory of me to be one where I am at some meeting or I’m racing the deadline or telling them I can’t play because I have to do this certain thing.
I’m sure this is a country song, isn’t it? No, I know, it’s that Harry Chapin song, “Cat’s in the Cradle,” where the dad never had time for his son, and the kid grew up to be the same way. I want a different theme song for my relationship with my kids.
I think this one by Martina McBride will do nicely. “In my daughter’s eyes, I am a hero I am strong and wise and I know no fear. But the truth is plain to see, she was sent to rescue me. I see who I wanna be, in my daughter’s eyes.”
To my Courier family, and the weird folks who decided they liked my column and kept reading: Thank you for skipping down the trail with me, if only for a while. I have cantankerous ankles anyway. I’m so tired as I write this, so it seems almost like a dream. And with my six-year-old kicking me in the bed, that only enhances it.
It will be real next week when I’m playing with my peeps instead of tapping out the week’s business to make my newspaper deadline. Y’all be sure to come visit me on MySaline.com. I’ll see you there.