I’ll frost your cake

The goal of my articles is to take unhealthy or highly processed foods, and use as few ingredients as possible to recreate it into an improved version. This recipe is the pinnacle of that mission statement.

I’m taking one of the most unhealthy items you can buy in a mega-mart and transforming it into a powerhouse of nutrition, plus the flavor profile is exactly the same, if not better.

I’m talking about frosting. Some people eat it straight from the tub, not even bothering with the cake. Full disclosure, I used to be one of those people. Even at my rock bottom of health, a voice in my head would whisper every time I did that how just when I thought I couldn’t go any lower or more sad:

There are zero redeeming qualities about frosting. It’s highly processed oil, refined sugar, food dyes, and artificial ingredients. It’s a nightmare list:

Ingredients

Sugar, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Palm Oil, Water, Corn Starch, Cocoa Processed with Alkali. Contains 2% or less of: Salt, Monoglycerides, Polysorbate 60, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Citric Acid, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Artificial Flavor. Freshness Preserved by Potassium Sorbate.

Now look at the serving size. Two tablespoons hold 20 grams of simple carbs and 17 grams of sugar.

Now ask yourself if you have ever eaten just two tablespoons of frosting at one sitting. Here’s a hint, the answer is no, you have not. If you buy a store-made cake from the bakery, that frosting is usually made from lard.

That’s right. If you want store made frosting, just open a can of crisco, dump in a bunch of sugar and coloring if you want, and go to town on it. Just be careful brushing your teeth later. Your mouth bones will be so greased up, the toothbrush might shoot across the room and stick in the drywall.

I refuse to live in a world where I can’t eat chocolate frosting and still be able to button my pants or bend over to tie my shoes. So, in steps in the versatile hero and all around good guy of the culinary world, the avocado.

For those of you now whining that you don’t like avocado, first, when exactly did your life go wrong, and second, you will never, ever know avocado is in it. It tastes like frosting, it feels like frosting, and it spreads like frosting. I’d argue it’s the only real frosting, and the stuff in the tub is the imposter.

Now we are replacing all those scary numbers above with loads of fiber, vitamins and minerals, and healthy fats. You can add this to my cake rounds from a previous article, or you can make the quick low carb cake in a cup I will include below.

I like the cake in the cup option, because it limits the serving size. With something that tastes this good, it’s good not to have a whole cake of it laying around to overeat. You can also pair this with your own home-made low sugar ice cream or Breyers has a Carb Smart line of ice cream that tastes really good, and is available at all the grocery stores. Rebel keto style ice cream is also very good, but is more expensive and comes in smaller containers.

Even if you hate avocados and turn your nose up at guacamole, do not think of this as being anything avocado-like, because it is not. It is frosting, simple as that. Enjoy.

Chocolate Avocado Frosting with cake in a cup:

Frosting ingredients:

2 ripe avocados

1/4 cup raw cacao powder

30 grams dark chocolate, melted (at least 70% dark)

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 to 1 cup powdered monkfruit sweetener – depending on personal tastes

Pinch of sea salt (half of 1/8th tsp)

Cake in a cup ingredients:

1 tbsp coconut flour

1 tbsp melted grass-fed butter

2 tbsp stevia in the raw sweetener

1 egg

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/8 tsp sea salt

Frosting instructions:

Use a hand mixer to blend the avocados until smooth. Add all the other ingredients. Add the other ingredients except for the sweetener and mix again. Once blended, start with 1/2 cup of powdered monkfruit. Blend by hand first, or else you will have a cloud of sweetener in the air and none in the frosting. Once you have it starting to mix, then blend with the electric blender. Taste test to see how sweet it is for your personal tastes and add more if needed to get to the level that works for you. Store in the fridge until needed for cake or ice cream.

Cake instructions:

Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl. Scramble the egg in a different bowl.

Nuke the butter in the bowl or cup you want your cake size to be in 10 second increments until smooth. Add the dry ingredients to the butter and mix well, then add the egg and mix again. Nuke in the microwave for 60 seconds, then run a butterknife around the edges and let cool: